Only Your Mom

There are some things that only your Mom will do for you. Occasionally, they might seem embarassing or mean, but keep in mind that we do these things " for your own good". I forsee that I will have many more of these moments as Hayden gets older, but I have had quite a few thus far.
Only your mom...
will give you a big, wet, morning kiss and promptly tell you that you have stinky breath.
will tell you that socks with Crocs looks ridiculous, but to do what you want ( only to smile when you swiftly remove the socks in question).
will alert you to the giant chunk of poop on your leg.
will carry Purell, Wet Ones, Cottonelle Wipes, Band Aids, Ice Packs, Sunscreen and bottled water...just in case.
will tell you not to suck on your own toes just because you can.
will kiss you when you have garlic breath, a chocolate mouth or a runny nose.
will tell you to get out of the room until you can act right.
can make you laugh while you are crying.
will pull a booger out of your nose.
will carry BBQ sauce in her purse for you.
will let your dad look in your ears with a flshlight and binoculars.
can convince you to eat things by telling you they taste just like raisins.
will drink after you.
will tell you your shirt is too small.
thinks it is funny when you kick your underwear across the bathroom because you ike to " go" naked.
listens, without panicking, when you say that you, your wife and four children plan to live with her forver, and ever.
understands that some chicken is too stringy to eat.
thinks your guitar playing is wonderful and does not, at all sound like you are killing a cat.
will kiss your feet.
will giggle with you when your Dad is mad at us.
loves to watch you sleep.
makes you vacum after every snack.
will tell you that cartoon character clothing is not something we wear.
will clean your fish's bowl, even though she did not want the fish or approve of the fish. ( and let you name him Lucky Ball...like on old man with one testicle.)
will give you the last Mallow cup.
feeds you Gelato cause that's how we roll.
will snuggle with you for hours.
loves to hear you babble and babble and babble on about nothing for hours on end.
talks like The French lady while trimming your nails.
thinks you are a HUGE weirdo, but loves you for it.