Tuesday, June 30, 2009

So, Who am I?

My identity was stolen. It is not a good thing. I was going to post some advice to all of you, but Rob thinks I should keep my nose out of everyone's business. I don't usually listen to him, but will...for now.
With my identity stolen, I can't help but wonder who I am. Do I get to pick? If I do, then I have a few requests.
Uniqua from the Backyardigan's. She is awesome. And pink. She always gets a snack when she wants one. She is a world traveler. Girlfriend can dance. Plus, the Boinga Song rocks. My lisence could say Uniqua Rae Lazorchak.
Dr. Drew. I could be him. He gets to analze people and tell them what he really thinks of them. ( I sort of do that now). He gets to hang out with has-been rock stars. You can't top that. I have plenty of advice to give out. Wanna know about protecting yourself from idetity theft? Never mind.
Wonder Woman. I have always liked her. That huge gold belt is quite the fashion accessory. And the thigh high gold boots, they are sexy. I had a Wonder Woman sleeping bag and often dreamt of taking on the bad dudes. I could totally do that.
One of those flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. They are just plain scary. I could wear a cute little pillbox hat and swoop down and startle people. I would save money; flying as to be cheaper than filling up my SUV. I wouldd get you my pretty ( and your litle dog, too!)
Paula Dean. Now, I don't want her cholesterol or blood pressure, but I'd love to cook like that woman ( sans the butter) and talk with that fine southern draw. Sister gets right in there with her hands and mixes things up. She says what she wants. She drinks cocktails and laughs heartily.
Genie. As in I Dream Of. She supposedly had a master, but didn't obey him at all. Bucked the system. Infact, she did as she pleased, when she pleased. And she had magic powers. They seemed pretty much unlimited. Oh yeah, I could do that.
Or, I could just keep being me, along with the weird guy in Jersey who is also me. Wonder if he wants to take over my houshold duties. That'd be sweet. I mean, dude, if you are gonna be me, you gotta take on some of my responsibilities. Own up to something. I'll still snuggle with Hayden, pop zits on Rob's back ( he doesn't get them often, but I do so love them), water my flowers and veggies and cook. You get the rest. OK? So, put down the game system, quit playing online with pre-teen boys and start being me. Bet ya can't do it.

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